Category: The Pros

French Open Fantasy League!

Fantasy tennis is back, baby! Get busy picking your teams. You have until Sunday–when the French Open begins–before you’re shut out of all the fun. I don’t want to hear any of your lame-o excuses this time around. Excuses such as:

“I wanted to enter, but I didn’t know where to go! Wah!”

Go to fanslam.us. Make an account, if you haven’t already.

“There were too many contests–I didn’t know which one to enter! Wah!”

We’re entering the two contests marked “Enter free” under the status column. There’s one for the men and one for the women.

“I didn’t understand the rules. Wah!”

It’s really not that hard.

  • You have a pot of money, called your salary cap. You get to buy eight players with that money. Higher ranked players cost more.
  • You don’t have to pick the champion to win. You win by accumulating the most points.
  • Points are awarded based on what percentage of match points a player won. So if Nadal beats Djokovic 6-1, 6-2, 6-1 and you have Djokovic on your team roster, you’re not getting many points. But if Nadal beats him 7-6, 7-6, 7-6, you could get almost as many points with Djokovic on your roster as with Nadal. (And if you have both men on your roster, you get all 100 points no matter who wins.)
  • Once a player loses, he or she doesn’t accumulate any more points. (Duh.)

“I don’t follow tennis closely enough to know who all the players are. Wah wah wah!”

Who cares? It’s free. Pick random people, using up as much of your salary cap as you can. Weird things can happen. Just look at last year’s US Open finalists. Nobody could have predicted that.

I’ll be picking my teams under the name LittleYellow. Before the tournament begins, you have to let me know, via the comment section, the name you’re playing under to get a shot at winning the coveted can of Triniti tennis balls.

There will be only one winner for each contest. You’re competing against whoever enters this LYB subset of bettors. So if you end up with more points than I have but fewer than loyal LYB reader Martha, you lost and you get squat.

Good luck!!!

(No, I haven’t forgotten about the May challenge of ladder drills. I’m making it a June challenge. Maybe even late-June.)

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Famous Tennis Tykes: A Quiz!

Normally we’d be having oodles of fun today with our worst-dressed fashion face-off. But then I got to thinking: Is this really who we want to be as tennis fans? After everything we’ve been through during this ongoing pandemic nightmare, shouldn’t we focus our energies on building each other up? Supporting each other through our travails, sartorial or otherwise? Have we learned nothing?

A blog is a powerful platform, one I should be using to further the causes of self-esteem, mental health, and general fashion tolerance. No longer will we be poking fun at people for outfits they had no hand in choosing. From now on, this blog will be dedicated to positivity and warm, fuzzy feelings.

(Also, I couldn’t find any worst-dressed nominees for Wimbledon. Such is the drawback of a dress code. We’ll revisit these high-minded ideals once the US Open starts.)

But fear not—we still have interactive photographic content to, um, interact with. Behold this nifty quiz, featuring our favorite stars’ warm and fuzzy childhood photos brazenly ripped from the internet. (If this blog gets shut down, you’ll know why.)

Enjoy–and if you like it, please share it by email or social media! Continue reading “Famous Tennis Tykes: A Quiz!” →

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Fantasy Wimbledon!

Just a quick post to let you know that the free fantasy league for Wimbledon is now open for entries. You have all weekend to figure out your teams, so don’t come crying to me next week that you missed out on the fun.

Here’s the link to my original post on the fantasy league, where I describe the process: Fantasy Tennis Is Here!

Here’s the link for setting up your women’s team: https://www.fanslam.us/contest_teams.php?contest=626

And here’s the link for the men:

https://www.fanslam.us/contest_teams.php?contest=625

Should we have our own internal contest? Of course we should. Post your team rosters in the comments section before play begins on Monday, June 28. Winners will get (what else?) a new can of tennis balls!

 

 

2

Fantasy Tennis Is Here!

The French Open starts tomorrow, and you probably think you’ll be all maxed out on tennis for the next two weeks, what with playing tennis and watching tennis and voting on Fashion Face-offs. But this year, there’s even more excitement to be had, thanks to a new (and free) fantasy tennis league!

That’s right. Fantasy tennis! Why should football fans have all the fun?

Here’s how it works. You get a $100,000 salary cap to spend on an eight-player team. Obviously, a player like Rafa’s going to cost you more than, say, Sam Querrey. Since you have a salary cap, you can’t just pick the top eight players. You’re going to have to pick some Sam Querreys. Continue reading “Fantasy Tennis Is Here!” →

5

On GOATs and STOATs

The Australian Open is officially underway, which means Fashion Face-offs are right around the corner. A concerned reader advised me to write a couple of “warm-up” posts before tackling the face-offs. I guess it’s been so long I might hurt myself. So here’s a nice, gentle stretch of a post to ease back into things…

Last night was kind of crazy, wasn’t it? The Super Bowl and the Australian Open starting at the same time. It was hard to know what to watch—there were a lot of GOAT storylines between those two events. Continue reading “On GOATs and STOATs” →

8

The Fearlessness of Naomi Osaka

In Friday’s “worst dressed at the Open” post, I flippantly claimed credibility as an arbiter of tennis fashion. Of course, anyone who reads this blog knows I have little credibility in fashion, or anything else, for that matter.

One of our blog readers, however, does bring some serious cred to the topic of fashion: Robin Hauck, founder and editor of the sleek and chic Misstropolis magazine. Robin may well be the coolest person I know—so cool she once landed on the list of Most Stylish Bostonians in The Boston Globe.

According to Robin, I was wrong (!) to nominate Naomi Osaka in the worst-dressed poll. Normally I brook no dissent on my blog, but seeing as I’m still waiting for my own Most Stylish nomination, I decided to ask Robin to elaborate. Man, did she ever set me straight. Continue reading “The Fearlessness of Naomi Osaka” →

10

Serena’s Slam Quest

“How’s that three-posts-a-month resolution coming?” snarked a so-called friend the other day. Okay, I’ve fallen a little short on that, but in my defense, coronavirus. I mean, how can I be expected to work under these conditions?

Fortunately, there are writers out there who are way more professional than I am, writers who wouldn’t let a global pandemic stand in the way of quality tennis prose. One such writer is Cecil Harris whose work has appeared in The New York Times, USA Today, and many other publications.

Cecil has just come out with his new book, Different Strokes: Serena, Venus, and the Unfinished Black Tennis Revolution. As you might surmise from the title, it’s about the Williams sisters and other black tennis players, the strides they’ve made, and how much farther there is to go to achieve true equality in the sport we love. Continue reading “Serena’s Slam Quest” →

4

Are the French Weirdos? A Rigorous Analysis

During his first-round loss yesterday, Stefanos Tsitsipas took issue with some of the chair umpire’s rulings. In protesting his treatment, Tsitsipas spat, “You have something against me, I don’t know what — because you’re French, probably, and you’re all weirdos. You’re all weirdos!”

What a weird thing to say. As far as insults go, “weirdo” is just laughable. It’s like being called a poopy-head by a five-year-old.

Perhaps it’s the very weirdness of the insult that got me wondering: Are the French weirdos? Let’s get scientific about this and look at the top four French players. Continue reading “Are the French Weirdos? A Rigorous Analysis” →

2

Throwing Your Boobs

Have we talked about obnoxious match celebrations before? I feel like we have, but I don’t want to scroll through my whole site to figure it out. Besides, we have new, fun material to talk about.

A number of weeks ago, everyone’s favorite love-to-hate player Nick Kyrgios threw some shade at a few of the game’s top stars. He called out Rafa Nadal for being “salty” and Fernando Verdasco for arrogance.

But he saved his best shade for Novak Djokovic:

“I just feel like he has a sick obsession with wanting to be liked. He just wants to be like Roger….This whole celebration thing that he does after matches, it’s like so cringeworthy. It’s very cringeworthy.”

Have you seen Djokovic’s celebratory ritual? I couldn’t help but laugh at Kyrgios’s characterization. Cringing describes my reaction perfectly.

And it’s not just me and Kyrgios. Djokovic’s ridiculous “I give you my heart” pantomime rubs other people the wrong way, too–so much so that someone coined a term for it: Boob throwing. Continue reading “Throwing Your Boobs” →

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