Friday Fashion Face-off: Worst-Dressed at the 2021 U.S. Open

Late again. But to make it up to you, we have two polls!

A couple of people suggested Naomi Osaka for inclusion on this week’s worst-dressed list, and while I can’t disagree, I also can’t pile on the poor girl. She’s clearly having a rough time adjusting to the expectations that come with being a champion. My heart went out to her when she was crying in her interview after her third-round loss.

So to demonstrate our compassion, let’s pile on other people and see if we can make them cry instead.

Nominee #1: Evgeny Donskoy

Embed from Getty Images

Believe it or not, this was the best photo of the Russian player available on Getty, which got me to wondering: Which is more depressing—to land on a blog’s worst-dressed list or to make so little impact in a tournament that you merit only four images on Getty?

I’m not a fan of red shorts, and pairing them with a matching red shirt doesn’t improve matters. Actually, now that I think about it, Donskoy’s probably relieved there’s scant evidence of him in this Babolat getup.

Nominee #2: Ugo Humbert

Embed from Getty Images

There’s an older gentleman in my neighborhood who takes his morning constitutional in the same outfit every day. Off-white trousers, light tan checked button-down, off-white newsboy cap squarely on his head. He’s very cute, puttering along with his small determined steps, but he always looks like he’s been dredged in unbleached flour.

If he played tennis, no doubt he’d opt for this beige-on-beige combo by Wilson. (Have you ever wondered why Wilson isn’t a bigger player in tennis apparel? Wonder no more.)

Nominee #3: Diego Schwartzman

Embed from Getty Images

You know how Tennis Warehouse is always out of the color sneakers you want? Almost invariably, when I go to buy, the only shoes left are maroon with purple stripes. If, by chance, there are any shoes in a normal color left, they’re available only in size 2 or 14EEE.

I mention that by way of explaining why my tennis buddy Lori showed up on court recently with these atrocities tied on her feet:

Adidas calls these shoes “Ubersonic Citified.” (I’m no fashion expert, but I believe “citified” is industry jargon for making clothes too ugly to be stolen.)

Up until this week, I was confident Lori owned the world’s most heinous tennis shoes, but it turns out Fila’s also jumping on the fugly footwear bandwagon. Schwartzman looks like he puked Yoo-hoo all over his shoes. And what’s with the random I-really-need-to-do-laundry outfit? (Hey, I’ve been there with the laundry problem. I’d say “no judgment,” but what else is this column but judging, even if hypocritically?)

So there you have it—tennis’s final fashion fiascos of 2021. Thank you to all the tennis sportswear brands for consistently providing fodder for everyone’s favorite face-off.

And MANY thanks to Lori for being such a good sport!!!

Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-dressed Woman at 2021 US Open

Yes, I know it’s Sunday. Friday is a state of mind.

What a strange and wonderful Open it’s been on the women’s side. I won’t comment on the
results of the final since some people may have recorded it, but both young women were
deserving of the title, much like our best-dressed nominees. Continue reading “Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-dressed Woman at 2021 US Open”

Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-dressed Man, 2021 US Open

Every slam, it’s the same story. I’m completely blindsided by the first Friday. How can it be time for another best-dressed man contest??

Fortunately, I was sent a gentle reminder by good friend and blog reader Eileen. An avid student of the game, Eileen went to the US Open for the opportunity to study the finer points of strategy and stroke execution. So dedicated is she in her quest for tennis excellence that she even shot some instructional video to continue her studies at home: Continue reading “Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-dressed Man, 2021 US Open”

Famous Tennis Tykes: A Quiz!

Normally we’d be having oodles of fun today with our worst-dressed fashion face-off. But then I got to thinking: Is this really who we want to be as tennis fans? After everything we’ve been through during this ongoing pandemic nightmare, shouldn’t we focus our energies on building each other up? Supporting each other through our travails, sartorial or otherwise? Have we learned nothing?

A blog is a powerful platform, one I should be using to further the causes of self-esteem, mental health, and general fashion tolerance. No longer will we be poking fun at people for outfits they had no hand in choosing. From now on, this blog will be dedicated to positivity and warm, fuzzy feelings.

(Also, I couldn’t find any worst-dressed nominees for Wimbledon. Such is the drawback of a dress code. We’ll revisit these high-minded ideals once the US Open starts.)

But fear not—we still have interactive photographic content to, um, interact with. Behold this nifty quiz, featuring our favorite stars’ warm and fuzzy childhood photos brazenly ripped from the internet. (If this blog gets shut down, you’ll know why.)

Enjoy–and if you like it, please share it by email or social media! Continue reading “Famous Tennis Tykes: A Quiz!”

Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-dressed Woman, 2021 Wimbledon

Tomorrow morning Ash Barty and Karolina Pliskova face off on the hallowed grounds of Wimbledon. But first they’ll have to duke it out here, in the mucky bog of my blog. Will one of them take home the title of Best-dressed Woman, or will it be the surprise contender who steals the show? Continue reading “Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-dressed Woman, 2021 Wimbledon”

Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-dressed Man, Wimbledon 2021

Every blog day is a joy, but some days you just have to work a little harder for it. Case in point: The “best white outfit on a guy” contest. It’s always a challenge to find some detail—any detail—that can set one outfit apart in a sea of bland undershirts. Things got so dire at one point that I even considered nominating Novak Djokovic!

But the specter of the twirpy Serb on my best-dressed list brought me back to my senses. I redoubled my efforts and finally identified these three worthy candidates. Continue reading “Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-dressed Man, Wimbledon 2021”

Fantasy Wimbledon!

Just a quick post to let you know that the free fantasy league for Wimbledon is now open for entries. You have all weekend to figure out your teams, so don’t come crying to me next week that you missed out on the fun.

Here’s the link to my original post on the fantasy league, where I describe the process: Fantasy Tennis Is Here!

Here’s the link for setting up your women’s team: https://www.fanslam.us/contest_teams.php?contest=626

And here’s the link for the men:

https://www.fanslam.us/contest_teams.php?contest=625

Should we have our own internal contest? Of course we should. Post your team rosters in the comments section before play begins on Monday, June 28. Winners will get (what else?) a new can of tennis balls!

 

 

Friday Fashion Face-off: Worst Dressed at the 2021 French Open

My apologies for the late edition of the worst-dressed poll. I had the post ready to go yesterday, but the images weren’t embedding. What good is a fashion face-off without images? My descriptive powers only go so far.

Distressingly, all of today’s nominees are my compatriots. How can this be? Are we really that fashion-challenged? Or could it be that spectacular failure is the risk that accompanies bold and innovative thinking, and that fearlessly embracing that risk is what exemplifies the best of the American spirit?

Yeah, let’s go with that.

Now, quick, before the images stop embedding again, let’s vote for the worst dressed boldest and most innovative player at the French. Continue reading “Friday Fashion Face-off: Worst Dressed at the 2021 French Open”

Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-Dressed Woman, 2021 French Open

What a strange French Open it has been on the women’s side. Would you have picked any of the semifinalists (Sakkari, Pavlyuchenkova, Krejcikova and Zidansek) for your fantasy league  team? Well, you might have picked Sakkari, but I didn’t. Fortunately for me, hardly anyone else did, either. I remain in a respectable eleventh place.

Will today’s slate of best-dressed nominees be as surprising as the semifinalists? Let’s find out…

Continue reading “Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-Dressed Woman, 2021 French Open”

Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-dressed Man, French Open 2021

I know you’re all itching to get to today’s nominees, but first let me update you on my fantasy league.

I’m currently in SIXTH place (out of 117) on the women’s side of the draw! That’s pretty damn good for someone who’s new to fantasy leagues. My picks: Sabalenka, Gauff, Collins, Swiatek, Jabeur, Pegula, Sorribes Tormo and Badosa. (The crossed-out names have been eliminated from the tournament.)

And on the men’s side, I’m 144th out of 166th. Wow. That’s embarrassing. But my four players still in contention are John Isner, Stefanos Tsitsipas, Jannik Sinner and some guy named Nadal. I’m feeling pretty good about my chances of cracking the top 100 over the next week.

Now, aren’t you sorry you didn’t participate? Okay, I didn’t give you much notice. Maybe you’ll make a fantasy team for Wimbledon.

Without further ado, let’s get to the best-dressed men at the French Open. Ooh la la! Continue reading “Friday Fashion Face-off: Best-dressed Man, French Open 2021”

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: