Something’s been bothering me for a long time, and I need to get it off my chest. It’s Caroline Wozniacki’s clothes–specifically, her U.S. Open outfits.
The beautiful Danish player wears Adidas’s Stella McCartney line. Making this young woman look good ought to be a slam-dunk, but from the start, the U.S. Open designs have been nothing short of atrocious.
Let’s look back, shall we?
We’ll start in 2011, where Wozniacki sports what seems on first glance to be a simple white dress. But look a little closer. Go ahead and zoom in. I’ll wait…Embed from Getty Images
Is this actually a finished garment or just a collection of white scraps hastily basted together in the hours before the tournament? I’m not convinced McCartney even knows how to sew. Look at the skirt–it almost looks pinned on. And is the bodice all one piece, or is that a sports bra thrown on top?
So you fully appreciate the tawdriness of this dress, here’s another shot, showing the thick waistband of her undershorts through the sheer bodice.Embed from Getty Images
Is that supposed to be sexy? It’s not. Even on a young woman as beautiful as Wozniacki, it’s just tacky and ill-conceived.
Let’s move on to the nightmare of 2013:Embed from Getty Images
Know what pops in my mind when I see this color-block dress? Adult diaper.
Every time I see a photo of this dress, I shake my head in wonder. What in the world made McCartney think a color block shaped like giant panties would be a good idea?
I don’t know how much money Adidas pays Wozniacki, but would any sum be enough for you to agree to wear this dress? I didn’t think so.
Finally, we have this monochromatic mess from 2009:Embed from Getty Images
I mean, honestly. There are no words.
But things may be turning around for the Dane on the fashion front. For this year’s first three majors, Wozniacki wore normal, well-fitting clothes. (This is high praise when the bar has been set so low.)
Wozniacki sported culottes when she won the Australian Open. Now, I wouldn’t wear culottes personally, but then I don’t look like Wozniacki. I like this youthful cut and the vivid yellow peeking out from under the blue. This outfit is a win for me.Embed from Getty Images
Wozniacki doesn’t wear black on court very often, but she rocked it this year in this flirty little number. I’m not completely sold on the side panels, but overall the dress is a solid choice for her, and a major improvement over diapers.Embed from Getty Images
And at Wimbledon, Wozniacki was the picture of class in this eyelet-effect dress–yes, the same dress Kiki Mladenovic wore when she won our Best Dressed award in a landslide.Embed from Getty Images
All of which goes to show that McCartney CAN design clothes that flatter Wozniacki–and which the average recreational player might actually want to buy. Fingers crossed that at this year’s U.S. Open she finally gives this poor girl the stylish outfit she deserves.
It’s a double-poll day–the perfect kick-off to the weekend! Enjoy!