LittleYellowBall turned one on Tuesday, and I can’t think of a better way to celebrate than with a “worst dressed” poll. Here are the cringe-worthy nominees from Indian Wells and Miami.
Nominee #1: Jennifer Brady
You see Brady’s skirt? I have a skirt that color. When I bought it, I thought the color was intriguing–both understated and unexpected. How sophisticated of me.
Of course, the trouble with skirts in these strange shades is that it’s hard to pair them with anything. Black is the easiest choice but feels a little too safe. White doesn’t provide enough contrast. Any other color, while not actually clashing, looks completely random, like I got dressed in the dark. (Admittedly, that does sometimes happen, since I tend to wait until the very last lightbulb has blown out before replacing them.) (I’m not “green,” just lazy.)
So none of my tops go with that skirt, and thanks to Brady, I can now see that salmon pink isn’t a good option, either. Not that it’s Brady’s fault. Some designer at Asics put these colors together. Perhaps they could use some new lightbulbs, too.
Beyond the color, this dress is a shapeless mess. Just blech all around.
Nominee #2: Lauren Davis
Wait…is Davis wearing her sports bra on top of her shirt?
Wasn’t this a Seinfeld episode? Let’s google this… In the episode “The Caddy,” Elaine’s old frenemy Sue Ellen Mischke never wears a bra. To make a point, Elaine buys her one as a present, only Sue Ellen decides to wear it by itself as a top, causing Jerry and Kramer to get distracted and crash George’s car.
So it’s not exactly the same because Sue Ellen wears the bra without anything underneath, which frankly would look better than the disaster Lauren Davis has on.
I’m not sure if this bra is attached to that ugly undershirt-thing or just layered on top, but either way, it’s heinous. I don’t want this eyesore to become a trend, so I’m a little reluctant to tell you the brand. It’s Diadora. Please don’t buy this.
Nominee #3: Barbora Strycova
Can you blame Barbora Strycova for throwing her racquet? I’d be disgusted, too, if I was forced to wear this outfit. How can the fabric be so busy and loud, yet washed out at the same time? Maybe the skirt would be okay with a bright, solid top, but even that’s questionable. You can usually count on Tonic for tasteful tennis clothes, so I don’t know how this clunker got the green light.
You’ve got three ways to celebrate LittleYellowBall’s birthday: Vote for the worst dressed, submit your answer to our trivia question, and go eat some cake! (Yes, cake for dinner. Go for it.)
Trivia question: When Kramer sues Sue Ellen Mischke for causing his accident, he’s represented by lawyer Jackie Chiles. Chiles is a parody of which attorney from the OJ Simpson trial?