(🎶 Hit the beat, now…🎶)
Did you catch the Zverev brothers play last week at the Citi Open in Washington, D.C.?
Alexander (familiarly known as Sascha) is the groundstroke-whipping baseliner. He’s widely regarded as the successor to the top of the game when the Big Four finally retire.
Older brother Mikhail (Mischa) plays the rare serve-and-volley game. Though less successful than Sascha, Mischa brings equal entertainment value to the court. Last week’s match was the first time the brothers have met in an ATP-level tournament.
I was hanging out on the couch, enjoying the match, when my husband walked in front of the television screen and stopped. Sascha was serving, and my husband made an involuntary noise of disgust.
“You don’t like that shirt?” I ventured.
(🎶 Am I fool ’cause I don’t know just how you feel…🎶)
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The response was fast and vehement. “It’s the frickin’ ’80s! I hated that style when it WAS the ’80s. Why are they bringing that back?!”
The camera switched to Mischa setting up to return…
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“Ugh! That one’s even worse! What the hell is Adidas doing?”
He left the room shuddering and scowling like he’d tasted something sour.
(🎶 Baby, I’m lost in emotion…🎶)
I get what he means about these being retro ’80s shirts. There’s asymmetry and geometry and neon colors. There’s the whole hyper-energized vibe going on. These shirts get right in your face, just like that “ME! ME! ME!” decade.
But I’m not having the same violent reaction to them. Are they really that bad? (It’s possible I’m not the best judge. I only retired my scrunchies a couple of years ago.)
(🎶 Telling you things you really shouldn’t know…🎶)
Mind you, I don’t love these outfits. Mischa’s color-blob shirt looks a little too casual for a pro tournament, although I wouldn’t mind seeing it at my local club. And I’m very much on the fence about the single-leg double stripe on Sascha’s shorts. When I see it, I think, Well, that’s dumb, but then I imagine the shorts with stripes on both legs. I’d like that even less. (Once you start with that shirt, you’ve really boxed yourself in a corner with the shorts. Solid black may be your only option.)
As you can see, we’re a conflicted household when it comes to the resurrection of the ’80s. Or, I’m conflicted. My husband is very clear that he never wants to see these fashion atrocities again.
(🎶 My baby, My-my-my-my-my baby…🎶) (I love that line.)
What do you think? I have a plethora of polls for you today…
I have to agree with Keith here. And I can’t believe you only recently retired your scrunchies. I have these awesome braided hair bands that lock in the pony tail, look adorable and don’t rip hair. Uh, yeah, they’re made by Scrunchi, or however you spell the brand. But they’re much less bulky. Bonus that they fit around your wrist and look almost like a bracelet.
Now, back to the topic at hand: NO MORE EiGHTIES! Thank you very much. I mean living through them was fine, but the fashions? I love a little bright color. But I don’t need neon blobs. Why take hunky bodies and obscure them in shirts that look like they’re smeared in goo?
My vote on which 80’s trend to bring back was totally defensive. There was no OK choice. But hey, I did like those Capezio shoes. At least they were comfortable. I can’t imagine that anything like that would work for tennis, though.
OK. I think my perspective is clear. And you should appreciate that you are married to a man with good taste. But then, we know that. After all, he married you!
Yes, as I’ve said before, I’m the last person who should be running a fashion face-off. I didn’t even throw my scrunchies away. They’re enjoying a vacation in the back of a drawer. They could come back. You never know. Mom jeans are the latest craze now, so scrunchies can’t be far behind.