Happy Labor Day, everyone! After the barbeques and holiday sale shopping, it’s time to kick back with some tennis fashion fun. Or, if not fun — it is the men, after all — at least fashion frivolity.
I take my job as self-appointed fashion arbiter pretty seriously, so last Tuesday I traveled to Flushing Meadows to inspect this year’s getups first-hand, bringing along my trusty assistant/sidekick/brother David. I wouldn’t say David follows the sport too closely (Sample comment: “They don’t use line judges anymore?”) but he both buys and wears clothes, which appears to be the only real job requirement for these face-offs. I figured he’d be a fount of fashion savvy, particularly in regards to the men’s apparel.
His first contribution? Keeping Alexander Zverev off the slate of nominees:
Non-Nominee: Alexander Zverev
Zverev’s a good-looking guy, which can sometimes cloud my judgment, but my brother was undistracted. “It’s all the same color,” he shrewdly observed. “It’s like he didn’t put any thought into it at all.” It’s just that kind of insightful commentary that makes the cost of his ticket money well spent.
Instead, David plugged for Zverev’s opponent…
Nominee #1: Alejandro Tabilo
“Now that’s an actual outfit,” David said, pointing helpfully. He then resumed scrolling on his phone.
It would be hard to improve on that nugget, but for the sake of word count, I’ll add that Tabilo is Chilean and the clothing brand is Lotto. I do like the snappy contrast between the navy shorts and the beige and white top, and the stripes help break things up, which, come to think of it, is just a longwinded way of saying it’s not all the same color.
Sadly, we must leave my brother here as these are the only two men’s outfits he saw. Tune in for this Friday’s Best-Dressed Woman post for more Insights by David™.
Nominee #2: Jenson Brooksby
Could there be a more clubby name than Jenson Brooksby? Or a more clubby outfit? For that matter, isn’t the word “clubby” itself just incredibly clubby and grating?
But whiffs of elitism aside, this outfit by Uomo Sport stands out with its classic styling and tailored fit. The pale pink keeps the American looking fresh and cool — so cool, in fact, that I couldn’t spot a single sweat mark on the shirt even deep in the fifth set. What more could you want in athletic wear?
Nominee #3: Gabriel Diallo
Some of my tennis friends have been decrying Y-3’s “brown blob” apparel, petitioning, I suppose, to have it included in our upcoming worst-dressed post. I’ll admit the freeform blotch does look like something you’d want the dermatologist to check. (Let’s see: Asymmetry, irregular Borders, Color variation, Diameter larger than a pencil eraser…not looking good.) And yes, the label, a collaboration between Adidas and Japanese designer Yohji Yamamoto, might have selected more traditionally feminine colors for the women’s dresses.
But while I didn’t love it for the women’s line, on the men’s kit — and in particular on this man’s kit — the brown blob works. Pairing it with dark shorts and his funky dyed ‘do, Diallo, a relatively unknown Canadian player, positively rocks the blob.
It’s time to vote, and let me know in the comments: Should I have nominated Zverev???
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I think Zverev should have been included as a nominee. I wear black shorts and a black t-shirt every day. It’s not only my daily outfit to be worn in perpetuity, while awake or asleep, it’s become my brand. But Zverev would have still lost to Diallo in this Fashion Face-Off. But I’m biased because I like volcanoes and Gabriel reminds me of my son, who did the same thing to his hair a couple of years ago. Finally, what about socks, shoes, wristbands (sometimes forearm bands), bracelets, and watches? Should they be considered?
You have a brand? Wow. I need a brand. Let’s see. It could be “Stuff That Still Fits and Isn’t (Too) Dirty.”
And yes, all accessories can be considered, but they play only a supporting role (except for the Ugly Shoe Contest). An accessory is never enough to get you nominated, although it could be enough to get you excluded. (I’m making up these principles on the fly. I’ve probably already violated them in earlier face-offs.)
Sorry, David. But I’m a second vote for Alexander Zverev. I just don’t like tan. It’s blah. The pink is OK. And the brown blob is reminding me of… let’s not go there.