Australian Open Worst Dressed, with Bonus Academy Award Poll

Have no fear. I didn’t forget about the worst-dressed Australian Open players, as much as I might like to. There really were some doozies this year, although I suspect our first nominee will run away with this thing.

Nominee #1: Grigor Dimitrov

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There’s nothing new I can add to the derision already heaped on this eyesore. The handsome Bulgarian sure looks comfy in his PJs. Only two things are missing: footies and a butt flap.

Nominee #2: Petra Kvitova

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Can a dress look washed out and loud at the same time? Apparently so. The Czech player sports Nike’s softer pastel version of the psychedelic cow print. In trying to be both edgy and traditional, the dress ends up appealing to no one.

Nominee #3: Tennys Sandgren

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Sometimes at night, you think about the day ahead. Maybe you’ve got a dreaded performance review at your downsizing company. Or maybe you’re scheduled to play Roger Federer. Your mind turns to dark thoughts. You down one too many beers and stay up later than you should. The next morning you sleep through the alarm and end up throwing on whatever random clothes you can find in the pile on the floor before dashing, unwashed and uncaffeinated, out the door.

I’m not saying that’s what happened here. I’m just saying.

 

Now for the bonus Oscars poll! Did you see Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig’s hilarious presentation skit? It was a highlight of the show. Their gowns, on the other hand… I can’t decide which I dislike more, Maya’s potato sack or Kristen’s lasagna noodle.

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5 thoughts on “Australian Open Worst Dressed, with Bonus Academy Award Poll

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  1. Your commentary makes it all the more fun! I really wanted a chance to dis the cow print from hell, but the PJs had to get my vote. As to which of the Oscar dresses I would wear — naked might be a better choice!

  2. I’m reading this at work, with a student working hard in front of me. I keep having to stifle a laugh out loud! Please Deb! The potato sack and lasagna noodle especially!!!!!!

  3. I could have voted for the 3, but I agree that the pyjama has to take it. I also agree that I would rather be naked than wearing one of these dress.

  4. Number three looks like an outfit John used to wear when he was working on the house! The Oscar dresses are both atrocious…the PJ’s would be better than either one for that event. You’d think with all the dresses available to them, they could choose better. After all, how often do you appear onstage at the Oscars?

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